8 days from now will be april 18. and that day will only be the time that i'll celebrate my birthday, palang. waw. actually, i don't feel like celebrating it anymore. naaalala ko lang yung pain and tears at mga nabitawang salita ko nung araw na yun. they didn't know. and never did i told them how i felt that day. they ditched me twice and i never want to feel that way anymore.kaya di ko tuloy masyadong feel sumama sakanila recently. and pag nagcelebrate ako next tuesday, baka hindi na ako magdalawang-isip na iwanan sila pag nafeel ko ulit yung pangiiwan nila sa akin dati on my supposedly birthday celebration.[break=ang sakit]

why do i have to feel this way?
bakit kailangan sabay-sabay?
why can't i say na ako'y naiiwan, nahihirapan, at unti-unti na namang namamatay?
ang sakit.

feels like, ayoko ng mag-celebrate. i think no use. whats the purpose kung mararanasan ko lang yung sakit na nafeel ko nung SPECIAL DAY ko dapat. haaay.

ang down nanaman ng buhay ko.

[listening to | shake it off - mariah carey ]