never mind. i tried making a new entry bout yesterday's party but theeeeen.. haven't saved it tapos nawala na. haaaay. anyway, vicky and i talked during the party. i didn't know that she was feeling that way too. but that thing that i said to her, i really mean it. i don't know. i started telling everyone what i was feeling at that moment but then i know no one can ever understand me. i didn't know vicky could. there are a lot of things in my mind now. actually, these past few weeks my mind's pre-occuppied because of it. hindi ko na nga alam sasabihin ko sa kanya. vicky's right. everything that he was telling me, comes in the right ear, labas sa left. i'm not paying attention to everything he was trying to tell me. i don't know. maybe i was paying attention to myself more? i've been thinking that maybe nagsasawa na ako. migs said that. that was like before sophnight pa nga eh. hindi ko pinapansin kasi alam kong hindi. or maybe, ayoko lang isipin na ganoon na nga ang nangyayari sa amin. naisip ko din, masyado na sya nagiging futuristic. normal but not too much. lahat nga ng gusto kong sabihin sa kanya hindi ko na masabi ng harapan kasi lahat ng sasabihin ko magiging masakit para sa kanya. i've been telling in my past entries na ayoko na. mga january nagsimula yun. anyway. i don't know when i'm going to say everything to him. siguro malapit na. ewan. mahirap din kasing kausapin ang taong mahirap umintindi sayo.

though i consider it as my first, but not my last.

*sorry medyo di nagcoconnect lahat ng sinasabi ko..

nga pala, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAT! =)

[feeling | indescribable ]