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Ren
Registered Nurse. Soon-to-be MD in the making (hopefully). Orange lover, still. Loves Math. Procrastinator/Crammer. Sluggish. Obsessive Compulsive. Emo-tional. Sensitive. "Overlapping." Weakling. Motivated. Contradicting. Loser. Nerd. Soon-to-be Geek.

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Entries for January, 2007

Back to school!
January 4th, 2007 | 05:37 PM

Oh yes, we're all back in school. It's already the second day and everyone doesn't feel like coming back yet. Since Homeroom yesterday afternoon, everyone is so down and deadma talaga. Parang feeling tuloy ng mga teachers wala silang kausap. Kausap nila, sarili nila. I mean, nakakatamad kaya mag-aral sobra and be back to school so early.

Anyway, it's so nice to hear that I'm starting to like Geom again. That's good. I wish magtuloy-tuloy na ito, hopefully. Starting palang kasi ng first quarter, hindi talaga mapagsabay na maganda ang grade ng Trigo and Geom. 'Pag maganda ang Geom, pangit ang Trigo and vise versa. O diba? Hanep!

As of now, Geom, Trigo and English exam papers were returned. Ang galing talaga. Well, I'm happy with Trigo (sobra!) while Geom is so kawawa and English... well, stupid me for having such mistakes and sobrang kitang-kita pa, darn. Nasesense ko nang... oo, kung ano man iyon.


Btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Angela! =)




***
Well, I thought mawawalan na ako ng pag-asa. Nagsisimula palang pala. His best friend will help me set-up one gala or alis. O yan, hindi na ako nangangarap masyado na maging date siya. Kahit alis nalang, pwede na sakin. =)

orange you glad?


Christmas gift update!
January 4th, 2007 | 05:47 PM

> Any Nicholas Sparks book (except The Notebook) 
          - Binigyan na ako ni lisa ng Message in a Bottle. Yey! =) Pwede pang humabol ng ibang book. =)
> Scrapbook(s) (3 big ones)
          - Mayroon na akong 1! =)
> Money, money and MONEH!!!
> Michelle Branch's Spirit Room album (original) and Silent Santuary's second album, Mga Kwentong Pag-ibig
> PROM DATE!!!

          - Hmm, processing palang. =)
> Starbucks Planner
          - Yey! Natapos ko din. Nung Dec 24 ko pa nakuha. =)
> Orange Converse Chucks (in Toby's Shang)




Actually, naisip ko, kung wala kayong maisip na birthday gift para sa akin, pwede kayong mamili diyan. =) HAHA. =)

orange you glad?


Bitter.
January 10th, 2007 | 06:05 PM

Yesterday afternoon and just this morning, I really felt bad. Super. I guess, sobrang naiinis na ako that I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing. Good thing, sometime after morning break I felt calm and somewhat okay. 

About what happened yesterday, I still couldn't believe that I did that. Honestly, I never thought I would even do that. But I guess, its the right decision since I always go to the best group or the group that I want to join in. Look at the brighter side, it's better to work with different people. 

***

Anyway, yesterday night, I finally finished reading Message in a Bottle. I was really crying. I never thought it would end up that way. It's really sad. Haaaay. Poor Theresa. =(
orange you glad?


I had a great time, sobra.
January 14th, 2007 | 09:56 AM

I thought yesterday's get together will really be a fun one, but I'm wrong. There was a moment when I felt that I really want to go home, as in dahil sa sobrang bad trip. Nainis talaga ako.

Most of the time, when I'm mad or naiinis I really show it. Hindi kasi ako plastic, hindi ko kayang itago. Kaya madalas, pag pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong magalit, hindi ko kaya kasi halata naman lagi. Sabi nga nila, parang daw ako papatay ng tao.

This week was definitely not a good one--SOBRA. Well, parang hatest week of the whole school year, I guess? Damn. I guess everything started nung tuesday. Monday kasi happy pa ako kahit papaano eh. Pero that thing nung tuesday sobrang nakakadown. From that day until yesterday sobrang wala na. Totally bad days talaga.

Oo, maraming days na nafeel ko ng alone ako, pero heto na talaga yung isa mga malala kasi alone talaga ako eh. Yung feeling ba na gusto kong magwalk-out sa mundong kinatatayuan ko ngayon. 'Yun yung feeling eh. Ganoon ka-lala.

I knew I've always been alone and it always hurt whenever they let me feel I'm really alone. Although, I'm not saying na the whole time sobrang feeling ko ang loner ko. Hmm, most of the time lang naman. I guess 'yung minutes na binigay niyo para kausapin ako, napasaya naman ako kahit onti. Salamat na rin doon.

Now, I'm not looking forward for prom anymore. I'm not excited about wearing that beautiful dress. Parang wala ng saysay. Lalo na kung 'yun palang binabali wala ka na, paano pag prom na? Tsss. Walang kwenta rin ang prom kung ganoon. Magsarili nalang kaya?

Sobrang pissed lang talaga.

orange you glad?


Cramming session: CL
January 15th, 2007 | 05:54 AM

Omy, I'm online again for another cramming session.
I just did my CL reaction paper. Not that hard actually.
Tinamad lang talaga ako. Haha. =)
Anyway, I'm done na. =)









***
Hey, thank you for last night. I really appreciate that someone did listen to me. Though, I really wasn't expecting that person will be you. But then, thanks again for your time, kahit papaano nalabas ko na yung nararamdaman ko na pinipilit kong itago sa sarili ko.
orange you glad?


Damn it.
January 19th, 2007 | 07:32 PM

Ang shit talaga. Oo, shit talaga. Why can't you just tell it to me straight? I mean, I just hate it whenever someone's mad at me or whatever. Pero, I damn hate it pag galit ka sakin and you don't tell it to me straight. Kailangan pakiramdaman ko muna eh. And it sucks. I hate it, sobra. Hindi kasi ako manghuhula eh. If you are mad, tell me AGAD. RIGHT AWAY, hindi yung iffigure out ko pa kung galit ka nga ba o hindi. Wag kang plastic sakin! Shit.

***

Hay. This week was hell for me. Kung last week, sobrang nainis na ako. Ngayon, mukhang galit na ako. Damn talaga. I hate it. Hindi ako nabad-trip sa grade ko na mababa. Nainis ako sa mga tao sa paligid, sa mga pangyayari, sa lahat. Lahat mali, sobra. Maling mali.

Sobrang nadistract ako. Hindi ko na tuloy alam kung ano ba talagang gusto kong gawin at sabihin. Nakakalito na nga kasi ang daming problema. Hindi ko naman dapat pinoproblema yung iba pero alam mo yun, lagi kong iniisip. Nakakapagod na nga ang buhay eh. Napapa-bugtong hininga nalang nga ako bigla eh. Parang hirap makahinga. Ewan ko ba. Basta magulong-magulo.







***

Lord, please help Val. I know napakahirap nito para sa kanya. Lord, wala akong magawa ngayon para mabawasan yung sakit na nararamdaman niya. Alam kong napakasakit pero sana tulungan niyo po siya na makayanan lahat ng ito. Lord, kayo ng bahala sa kanya. Please Lord. Please. ='( I'm sorry Val, wala akong magawa ngayon. ='( Pagdadasal kita, promise. =|
orange you glad?


Nakakainis noh?
January 25th, 2007 | 09:46 PM

What a day. Really.

I went to school early and what do I get? Dissapointment. Wow. Amazing. How nice. I really hate it. Everything started out wrong talaga. Kaya ayan, sunod-sunod na. I woke up 5 AM when I should wake up at 4 because of my CL homework. My dad didn't wake me up. Damn. I did my HW, finished around 5:35, took a bath and went to school right away because Bea said we need to be in school at 6:15 AM. I didn't even eat my breakfast (that's a first).

Anyway, I was second to come in class and another dissapointment started. This time it's about the prom. Oh yeah. You know what, ayoko na mag-prom. Kung hindi lang ako nanghihinayang sa pera na binayad ko sa prom, matagal na akong nag-back out sobra. Kainis. HATE YOU (kung sino man siya, at kung mayroon man).

After that prom dissapointment, may sumunod pa. Oo, may sumunod pa roon. Hindi ko na kinaya 'yung sumunod. Wala naman akong matakbuhan. Nag-chapel ako. Parang ayoko na ngang umalis doon eh. Totoo.

First subject, English and we had to do the Beuwolf play. Then Geom, had 2 quizzes and it went out well. Then CL, bigla nanaman akong nagbreak-down. "What makes you sad?"...THEM. Oo, sinabi ko talaga. Malay ba ni sir kung sino sila. Haha. Gumawa kasi kami ng essay about handling emotions. Last subject, Chem, sumakit lang ulo ko sa Chem Equations kasi medyo nahirapan ako. Seryoso. Promise. Naku, baka siguro dahil may problema lang ako. Masyadong pre-occupied. Hindi maka-concentrate. Ewan, Labo pala.

***

Madalas, hindi ko nalang pinapansin kung ano mang problema mayroon ako. Mas lalo akong nadedepressed kapag ganoon. Pinipilit nalang maging masaya, hindi na kasi ako marunong ngumiti eh. Sana naman tinutulungan niyo ako. Sana lang. Pero salamat na rin kahit hindi.

orange you glad?


Who cares?
January 27th, 2007 | 07:37 PM

Ay, alam mo, hindi mukha.

Hindi talagang mukha na prom na next week. Promise.

Hay. I'm not even excited, really. I don't even feel like going. Goodluck nalang sakin.


Anyway, what a week. All we did was the History project which is due two weeks from now. Oh diba? Napakabait namin. Ayaw na din kasi namin magcram noh. Siyempre. Kaya ayan from last saturday until ngayon. Finally, natapos na din. GO ANJ! Kaya mo iyan! =)

I bet this week will be hectic. Halata naman siguro kung bakit. But for me, this week will be busy pero hindi dahil doon, academics ang sinasabi ko. Siguro, by end of this week, favorite subject ko na ang World History dahil sa kakagawa ng mga requirements. Na-realize ko, ang dami dami niyang binigay samin na kailangan i-pass. Grabe. How nice.

Ohwell. Hope this week will be a better one than last week. Mamamatay na ata ako last week eh. Damn. Haha.
orange you glad?


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