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Ren
Registered Nurse. Soon-to-be MD in the making (hopefully). Orange lover, still. Loves Math. Procrastinator/Crammer. Sluggish. Obsessive Compulsive. Emo-tional. Sensitive. "Overlapping." Weakling. Motivated. Contradicting. Loser. Nerd. Soon-to-be Geek.

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Entries for March, 2008

Kailan ba pwedeng maging masaya?
March 1st, 2008 | 05:23 PM

Mahirap talaga itago lahat ng kirot na nararamdaman mo kapag nagsabay-sabay na. Ang hirap kasi kapag hindi mo namamalayan umiiyak ka na lang ng walang dahilan. Hindi mo na alam kung bakit nagluluha ka ng para bang wala lang pero alam mo na sa kaloob-looban mo na sobrang bigat na ng pasan mo kaya nilalabas ito ng paunti-unti.

Ang gulo nga ng mundo ko ngayon kasi ang daming iniisip eh.
Namimiss ko si Momy.
Yung college na gusto kong pasukan.
Yung misunderstanding namin ni Dady.
Yung almost 3 months naming away magkapatid.
Yung nalalapit kong birthday.

Oo, masyado kong iniisip yung ibang bagay na di naman dapat isipin. Pero mahalaga kasi sakin lahat ng iyon eh. Parang ang hirap naman hindi isipin ng mga yun kasi sila yung nagpapagalaw ng mundo ko eh. Ang weird lang talagang makita akong naluluha na nung kinausap ng ninang kanina. Pagdating ng bahay, hindi ko na talaga napigilan eh. Naiiyak ko na talaga. Hindi ko na nakayanan eh. Masyado na kasing masakit isipin para kargahin pa.

Ewan ko. Kahit alam kong pansamantala lang yung iba, hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko na pwedeng manatili ang iba diyan at patuloy kong pahihirapan ang sarili kung poproblemahin ang mga ito.

Masasabi ko lang,
Tama na.

orange you glad?


Birthday Wishlist
March 4th, 2008 | 09:54 PM

Yaaaaaaaaaay. Malapit na birthday koooo. :) Hahaha. Wala lang. I just want to share. :D
Ang dami kong gusto sa birthday ko. :))

1. Gusto ko lang talaga maging MASAYA. :D So sana maging masaya nga talaga ako sa birthday ko. :D Palagi kong iniisip kasi na hindi magiging masaya this year dahil nafefeel ko na rin naman eh.

2. Gusto ko kasama si momy ngayong birthday kooo. =| WAAAAAH. First birthday ko na wala ang nanay ko. Musta naman yun?

3. Makapili na ng school. Tutulungan niyo ba ako? :)) At hindi nila ako ipressure na yun ang para sakin. :| Ayoko ng dinidikta yung dapat kong gawin at piliin. :| Ayoko rin na minamadali ako.

4. Magkabati na sana kami. :D

5. Na sana mas isipin ng mga kaibigan ko na pinahahalagahan ko ang mga birthday nila. Sana naman, mapahalagahan din nila ang akin. Sana malaman nila na kahit ano kaya kong igive-up dahil birthday nila importante sa buhay ko. =(( Sana malaman nila kung gaano ko sila kamahal. At sana ganoon din sila sakin. Kahit nagtatampo at naiinis ako sa kanila ngayon, hindi ko nalang pinapansin kasi mahalaga sila sakin at alam kong mas masaya sila kung hindi ako magbibirthday party dahil mas mahalaga yung sayaw sa ball at ang soiree at celebration ng ibang tao kaysa sa akin. Naiintindihan ko naman eh. It's just that I always have to give way for others.

Pero wish ko lang naman talaga ay maging MASAYA eh. YUN LANG. Makasama ko yung mga taong mahalaga sakin. YUN LANG.

Pero kung ayaw talaga, okay lang. Diba nga daw, palagi namang may next year. Nakadalawang taon na akong kakasabi niyan. Sana nga, ito na yung year na yun. Pero kung hindi talaga, life goes on. Wala akong magagawa. :j

Hindi ko gusto ng specific material things, mas mahalaga pa rin yung nanggagaling sa puso. Sobrang torn lang talaga ako these days, if they only knew.

orange you glad?


Shattered heart
March 12th, 2008 | 09:49 PM

It still hurts kapag naririnig ko yung Broken by You. Feel ko tuloy para bang hanggang ngayon nasasaktan pa rin ako, when in fact sobrang wala na. Wala na talagang naffeel. Pero ang tagal ko na rin hindi nagpapakasenti. Ayun, bigla akong napa-emo ng wala sa oras. Eh kasi naman eh. Masakit naman talagang magmukhang tanga eh. MASAKIT. ="( Bakit kasi kailangan pang magpa-asa?

Why do people with a lot of opportunities in life take these chances for granted? Hindi ba nila naiisip na maraming hindi nabibigyan ng ganun kagandang chance and yet sila binabaliwala lang? Argh.

You have to balance it. You cannot think just for yourself. You have to think about him too. Hello, kayo yung nauna diba? Hindi yung umeepal at ikaw? Please lang. You know what to do, you're just making things too complicated.

Sana maayos mo na to. =(

orange you glad?


SUMMER IS HERE. :)
March 20th, 2008 | 01:12 PM

Plans for Summer:

1. WEIGHT ISSUE.
Hmmmm. None really. All I want to achieve this summer is to lose weight. That's all. LOSE WEIGHT. Big time. Every summer, I try working out my weight issue. It's just that... yes I'm doing something but I don't see the effects. Parang I'm still... the same. Hello, obvious rin naman sa weighing scale na pareho pa rin so mas lalong nakakafrustrate kapag nakikita kong pareho pa rin at nadadagdagan pa ng paunti-unti. That's so hard. Sana naman I'll be doing something about it.

2. ROAD TRIP with barkada
O yan, road trip nalang. Feel naman namin na hindi kami papayagan magout-of-town eh. Sooooo, kahit whole day road trip. Sana matuloy. :D

3. SUMMER JOB.
Ito yung hindi matuloy-tuloy na plano ko every summer rin. HAAAAAY. May bio-data na ako. Sana makapasok ako. I really need money ngayong summer. As in. Badly need it. Sana talaga. Arrrrrgh.

4. BUSY. BUSY. BUSY.
Gusto ko sobrang maging busy ngayong summer. I want to do a lot of things. SUPER. I want to try everything I've been dying to do. Na sana magawa ko rin and hindi hanggang plano lang. :)



Ang saya ng summer. Sana talaga magawa ko lahat ng gustong gawin. :) First summer as an adult! :)) As if it would make a big difference. The hell, gusto ko ng ifeel eh. :D

ENJOY SUMMER! :)

orange you glad?


Affirmation - own version. :))
March 22nd, 2008 | 12:14 PM

Nag-aayos ako ng gamit kanina when I found my green apple notebooks and nahanap ko to. Sir Al, my English teacher, asked us to make our own version of Affirmation by Savage Garden. My sister helped me in doing this and fuuun. :) Wala lang, ang saya. :))

I believe that without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.
I believe that regret is the worst feeling and love is the greatest feeling.
I believe that it's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.
I believe that your reason of existence is to live and serve others for Him.
I believe that discrimination is non-existing for we are all equal.
I believe there's no goodness if there's no evil.
I believe that most of what the government says are lies.
I believe that TV is the most influential thing man has ever invented.
I believe that the things you own, end up owning you.
I believe that the only losers are those who never tried.

Haha. Gusto ko lang i-share. Ang loser kaya, as in hindi loser na sobrang galing pero loser talaga kasi ang walang kwenta. :)) Obviously, gusto ko yung third. Hindi siya sobrang applicable sakin pero totoo siya eh. Wala lang. :)

orange you glad?


1. Apply for a Summer/Part-time Job
March 23rd, 2008 | 06:49 PM

Finally, I did something about this whole summer job thing I've been wanting to do. I asked Kathy to accompany me since may experience na siya last year. :)

I was able to go to 19 stores in Mega today. :)) I only have 6 Bio-data with me and thank God naubos yun. :D

1. McDo - no vacancy, kakahire lang daw nila last month.
2. KFC - natapos "daw" kaninang 9AM yung pag-apply... DAW. Eh hindi pa nga bukas yung mall ng 9AM eh. WAAAW. 
3. National Bookstore - no vacancy for Mega, try other outlets daw.
4. Go Nuts Donuts - no vacancy, still.
5. Powerbooks - try to contact the head office
6. Cavana - no vacancy, pa rin.
7. Mr. Donuts - stopped hiring. Weird.
8. Wendy's - no vacancy pero I can still give them my bio-data, so I gave them. They'll call nalang if ever, blahblahblah.
9. Sbarro - no vacancy, as what they all said.
10. Kenny Rogers - just leave daw my resume/bio-data. I did.  
11. Starbucks - underqualified? :)) At least 2nd year college.
12. Gloria Jean's - through head office daw sila nag-hhire pero I still left my bio-data in case.
13. Ohana -  yes, they accept summer/part-time job and I gave them my bio-data.
14. Teriyaki Boy - overqualified? :)) Well, hindi na ako pwede sa junior crew nila dahil hanggang 17 lang tinatanggap nila. Kung real part-time daw, head office daw ako pumunta. Okaaaaay.
15. Krispy Kreme - they only accept full-time jobs. Nice. Sayang yung donuts! :)) Gusto ko pa naman duuuuun. :)
16. Jollibee - I applied and took the test. Kala ko anong klaseng test, 'yun pala abstract reasoning and basic Math. As in basic Math. Tipong 4 + 1. Ganun. So there, I gave my bio-data pero part-time lang ang pwede sa kanila. Kaso ang problem, kung part-time at least 5 months ang sa kanila so meaning contractual. Tsaka, di ko pa alam college ko eh. I think with UP I can still adjust, but with UERM? I don't think so, kaya magiging problem sakin. :| Sayang yung opportunity if ever.
17. Dunkin' Donuts - head office daw mag-apply. HR department. Hindi ko na inalala kung saan yung head office, hindi na ako interested pumunta. So yuuun.
18. Pancake House - they do not accept. No vacancy in other words.
19. Shakey's - yes, may vacancy daw for part-time job so binigay ko rin yung bio-data ko. :D

Haaay. Sana man lang sa 6 stores na binigyan ko, matanggap ako. Isa lang naman eh. If not, I need to apply again sa ibang stores 'cause I really need moneeeeeeeeeeeeeey. SO BAD.

orange you glad?


All hearts broken.
March 25th, 2008 | 10:43 AM

Ang hirap talaga maging masaya noh?

In a group of friends, sobrang lungkot ng lovelife nilang lahat. Imagine! How nice. :(

Tall guy and almost-perfect girl. They used to be okay. Sobrang ayos na nga eh. Nawala, bumalik. Biglang... hay. Ayun, mawawala nalang ulit. Para sakin, sayang pinagsamahan nila for more than a year. Sayang yung effort. Sayang lahat. Parang, *poof* it's all gone. It's hard kasi when you don't tell your partner what you're feeling. It's like you're handling it on your own tapos ang clueless niya dahil di niya alam nangyayari sayo. Then along the way, marerealize mo na hindi mo na pala siya mahal? That's so hard. Kasi parang kung may sakit ka, kapag may nararamdaman ka na, tell it right away. Hindi pwedeng hintayin mong lumala yung feeling kung kailan hindi na pwedeng "maagapan." Sana kasi open kayo forever. Laging napaguusapan. Hay. Nasasad pa naman ako na mag-eend na ulit to. :(

Slow guy and sure girl. Ang bagal bagal ni guy. Kung kailan alam na ni girl yung naffeel niya, biglang ganun? Open your "doors" to other guys? Kung ayaw mo, sabihin mo agad. Kung gusto mo talaga, then go for it. Sabihin mo na kasi. Mauunahan ka pa niya sabihin yung naffeel niya eh. Wag kang susunod sa sabihin nila, ng iba. Hindi yun dapat ang maging diskarte mo. Gawin mo kung anong dapat mong gawin, kung anong naffeel mong gawin. Sana alam mo rin gusto mo. Masakit rin kasi yung naghihintay tapos parang feel pa niya pinupush mo siya palayo? Say what you want, what you feel. BE CLEAR.

Newly broken-hearted guy and super friendly girl. Too fast guy and uncomfortable girl. Okay, medyo pareho sila ng situation. Both guys are TOO FAST. Actually, less than a month palang sila magkakakilala tapos sobrang woah. Yung isang guy, sobra sa tawag. Yung isa, sobra sa text. Both girls feel uncomfortable doing this to them. Ang hindi lang kasi maganda with this, hindi nila alam kung paano itturn down. Mahirap dahil kahit anong way magiging tingin sa kanila masama. Which is true. Ito kasi yun eh. Dapat from the start pinakikiramdaman na yun. Lalo na kung hindi ka pa ready sa mga ganitong bagay. New relationship, blahblah. Ang hirap eh. You don't want to close your door but you just want to meet new friends. Ganito lang yun, emphasize that he's your friend aaaaand if you want to turn him down, there's always a nice way to do it. Don't push them away na sobrang ganun. Yun nga, may nice way of doing everything. Haaay. Si newly broken-hearted pa naman sobrang nasaktan dahil sobrang pinaasa lang siya nung unang girl na nagustuhan niya. Haaaay. THIS IS SO HAAAARD.

Another newly broken-hearted guy with depressing story. Wala siyang girl ngayon pero sobrang nakakahurt yung nangyari sa kanya. Sa kanya kasi, all he did was to love her. Ito kasi yung isa sa mga natutunan ko. If you only aim to change his/her personality in entering a relationship, wag mo ng ituloy. Dapat ka lang break-an noh. Relationship is about accepting your partner as a whole--his/her strengths, FLAWS. LAHAT. Hindi yung tatanggapin mo lang yung gusto mo sa kanya. It's not like that. Haaaay.

Ma-chick guy and super-duper-uber smart girl. Sobrang complicated ng story nila pero GUYS SHOULD NEVER TAKE GIRLS FOR GRANTED. Girls are to be loved. Girls should also know that once a guy has cheated on you, forever na siyang cheater. HAHA. Natutunan ko yan sa mga koreanovela. SHOOOOT. Parepareho na kaming naaddict? :)) Anyway, ang sweet pa nga rin nila eh. Parang walang nangyari. Pero hindi ko kasi alam paano matututo 'tong guy na to. Pag nawala siguro lahat ng girls? Hirap rin, gwapo kasi. HAY. MATUTO KA NAMAAAN.

And si ma-girls guy and si newly-healed girl. Sobrang nagustuhan ng girl si guy and sinabi na ni guy dati na "like" niya yung girl pero wala namang nangyari sa "like" niyang sinasabi. She tried making a move dahil sabi ng friend ni guy gusto daw niya ng ganun, wala namang nangyari. Sooooo, ang labo rin. It's hard when girls have to wait and guys have to make the first move. Kaya ang hirap when a girl likes a guy, hindi pwedeng lapitan ng girl yung guy kasi ang daming sinasabi ng tao. LIFE IS SO HARD. Kaya nga, wala nalang ginagawa si girl dahil wala ring nangyayari eh. Naghihintay nalang siya. Ang hirap noh?



In conclusion, ang hirap ng may lovelife. You like someone but he/she doesn't like you back. You like each other but something happens, it's all gone. You like each other, yet nothing happens. You like each other, someone enters, you break. WAAAAH. Ang complicated talaga.

LOVE IS COMPLICATED, SO AS LIFE.

*longest entry ever. :))

Tall guy and almost-perfect girl - Cho and Sara
Slow guy and sure girl - Mark and Mara
Newly broken-hearted guy and super friendly girl - Nigel and Pam
Too fast guy and uncomfortable girl - Cabre and Che
Another newly broken-hearted guy with depressing story - Lau
Ma-chick guy and super-duper-uber smart girl - Ed and Mia
ma-girls guy and si newly-healed girl - Jaime and Ren

orange you glad?


I CAN FEEL IT.
March 30th, 2008 | 07:12 PM

BV ka sakin noh?

Sana sabihin mo sakin para alam ko. Ayoko kasing magmukhang tanga eh. Ayoko ng hindi nasasabihan. Alam mo yun, you're not telling me things and I don't know if you're intentionally doing it or I'm just overreacting. I hope I'm just being OA here, 'cause if its true, then I'd like to know why or maybe iiwasan nalang muna kita. Ayoko rin kasi ng ganito eh. Ayoko naman pahirapan ka by confronting you. So... magiging distant muna ako if ever. :|

Medyo naiinis ako sa'yo 'cause I can see how sweet you are to them, to him. Pero come to think of it, ginawa mo pala sa lahat yun. But the question here is, why are YOU not telling me? You know I LIKE HIM! Pero hindi mo sinasabi sakin na may plan. Haaaay. :(

Sana nagkakamali lang talaga ako sa navvibes ko ngayon.
Pleaaaaase. :'(

To my best cousin, only insan.

orange you glad?


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