So, hooray for a new entry for this year! Although 2016 is coming to an end, at least I still able to create a new entry! Yahoo! Nay. 

Anyway, I was browsing through my old entries for the past years and I've realized this tabulas is 11 years old already! Huwow! From super childish tell-talings to realizations and vent outs--you can see them all here. I was reading my old posts and I just couldn't believe it was me really writing all those entries. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? Am I really getting dumb? Or is it just my inner side of my self waiting to be unboxed or something. I don't know. Felt like it really wasn't me who was writing on those past entries. 

I started a miracle morning journal wherein I will fill out 3 pages of random thoughts or whatever it is in my mind at the time of writing and so far I'm not still being able to write daily. But I wanted to keep up with it, honestly. Nothing feels like writing on a paper than you know just typing it down like this. I guess it really depends on the scenario or happenings. I may feel like writing today and typing tomorrow. But it's just that I don't have a centralized storage of all my entries. It really depends on my mood (me, being the journal hoarder). Ha ha! 

With this growing collections of my entries (whether virtual or not), I'm quite not sure now which is a long lasting storage. Remember Multiply where all the pictures during my high school days were stored? And back in 2010 or 2012, they finally shut down? I had to save all those pictures one by one just to keep all those memories alive! It was so hard to keep everything in place! Now that I have a trust issue with hosting sites, which should I keep and which should I let go?

I have this Tabulas. I also have one in Blogger (which is already linked to my gmail account). I also tried Wordpress but I can't remember the details anymore and I just saw I had 3 entries in Livejournal. Ugh so many sites! But then, it's still Tabulas that I always logged into. I thought I almost lost Tabulas at a certain point. They just changed their hosting site. 

So should I start saving all my entries one by one in my hard drive now? OH NOES! :'(:'( #supereffort

I need to get this out for real. 

2016 has been really tough for me in terms of work as this year only I have worked with more than 10 different nurses (with and without experiences) ranging their stay from few days to a week to barely a month--all of them didn't make it too long to stay in our institution. Honestly, we've been trying to guess where went wrong and what we could've done better but how can we ever know if they just instantaneously disappear??? I MEAN COME ON. I barely get to find a DECENT MAN for myself. I didn't know DECENT PEOPLE (in general) are even harder to find. 

The first 3 nurses we had earlier this year were way decent than the succeeding ones we had. These three were able to inform our boss formally. Compared to the other remaining nurses, none of them had anything to say at all. There was one, who was the aggresive one said his intention that it will be his last day since the scope of work is not okay for him. On his last day of work, the moment he received his salary 3 hours before his shift ended, he fled right away and left a text message and said, "ma'am kailangan ko na po umalis, may family reunion po kasi kami need ko po umattend. Yung 3 hours ko po dun na lang po sa inextend ko pong time na di bayad." I really got pissed off after reading that text. HE WASN'T MAN ENOUGH TO OWN UP HIS WORDS AND SAY IT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. WHAT A COWARD! 

On that same batch with the aggresive guy, were 3 other nurses. I remembered 2 girls and 1 guy. One nurse didn't show up after 1 day because of travelling time, while the other ended after 4 days when we had a very toxic critical care patient. I thought the remaining guy will stand still for some time but after 2 months of working, the following day after he received his salary, didn't show up to work with no notice at all. Got tired of calling them and asking whether they'd still want to work or not. I guess, the no-show duty is a given answer and should already be enough for me. 

Before this last-standing guy gave up on us, we hired this nurse who wasn't supposed to be hired at all. He was placed on probation as he already come and go twice 3 years ago. My boss didn't want to give him a chance anymore but given the need, I pursuaded my boss since there's no other choice. He was so-so at first but when the last-standing guy was absent few days before he actually fled, I have given him a test that he needs to extend for half a shift and I couldn't afford to extend anymore because I have extended my entire life for this work so many times. HE SAID YES TO MY BOSS EVEN IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO. BECAUSE IT WAS MY BOSS. HE LEFT AT A TIME WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CHOICE BUT TO STAY BECAUSE HE LEFT ALREADY. I GOT PISSED OFF AGAIN BECAUSE BULLSHIT. HE'S ANOTHER COWARD GUY WHO JUST COULDN'T SAY IT TO MY FACE OR TO MY BOSS THAT HE CANNOT EXTEND FOR WORK BECAUSE HE WILL NOT BE PAID FOR IT. GOD. WHY DO THESE PEOPLE EXIST. THEY COULDN'T EVEN STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES. 

We've had more other nurses who just did the same thing over and over again and I just let them be. Naimagine niyo ba gaano kahirap magturo ng tao ng SOPs, protocols, environment and everything to people over and over and over AGAIN???? Seryoso, nagsawa na ako magturo. I have given up so many times already and we're just struggling to survive in our everyday lives. 

[feeling | pissed ]