Of course, I will always come back to where I first started--my almost-thirteen-year-old blog! This is where I always tend pour my heart out whenever I can't open them to anyone else. Today, I am seriously feeling annoyed, disappointed, and where one of those moments where past-quarter crisis hits you rock bottom. I am seriously been teary-eyed how (I know) I've made so many irrational decisions over the past years and been choosing to stay where I am right now when I know I can do sooo sooo much better. I know where I should be heading to but obviously there's one huge reason that's hindering me to reach that goal--and that is opting to stay.
This everyday decision of "staying" has been bothering me already for sometime (actually for years already) because I have been yearning for growth, new experiences, bigger environment and fresh faces. But still all ends up choosing not to rock the boat and stay complacent to where I am right now. So now I'm ending up punishing myself for still staying in the same road.
Everything went worse when I was on my way home this afternoon. My Uber driver was sharing her daughter's life. The typical lucky person who was able to get into being a PAL stewardest (which I wasn't able to reach), get into one of the best hospitals (SLMC), pass the NCLEX, and getting hired in a renowned hospital in the US (after passing NCLEX). I mean how can life get any more rude at the moment? And his daughter's only 22 years old now. How her life's full of blessings, good for her. As for me, I've been struggling to keep myself mummed the entire time as I already want to end the conversation cause I don't wanna hear everything anymore. I wasn't seriously interested anymore. It's like merely shoving off to my face how her directions going well and when I'm not. God knows how much I know that already. Damn.
Right now I'm seriously hungry... I just saw there's a new ramen place near our house. I think I might try them today. :) #NeedingAllTheGVOutThere
Just like the usual, it will all remain as a rant. :/