Yesterday, I went for a bank shift downstairs (Covid ward). Ang saya sana kasi dami nilang Pinoy kahapon sa taas. Then one of my colleagues, J went down and asked for some stuff they needed upstairs. Then it so happened someone needed some antibiotics from downstairs so I needed to go upstairs as well. J told me she need to introduce me to someone, I asked who it was then...ugh yung new wardmate pala, si A. I suddenly felt people are building me up with him--Sister S, Ate J, J, and all the Js in the ward. HAHAHAHA. 

The thing is alam ko wala pa naman talagang galawang ganapan pero---
1. First impression, medyo tagilid. I worked with him twice and medyo loosen up agad, should I say complacent agad? Yung vibes medyo nagccomplacent agad? Or probably mas marami lang siyang alam kaysa sakin. Ika nga, mukhang magrurunner up kay X. 

2. He's younger than me. Alam ko gusto ko ng "noona" peg pero hmmmmm.. I remember my ex, he's younger too pero... naghahanap sana ako same maturity levels or mas mature sakin. Actually, mas mature sakin. Waaay maturity levels, like DDJ. 

3. Magka-ward kami. Diba ang pangit nung feeling kung magka-ward kayo tapos may something? Weeeeeird. Basta weird. Although I had a similar scenario before pero basta weird. 



To be honest, I like the attention. Pero it's gonna take a toll on me. Ako na naman lugi nito. I mean, yeah naghahanap ako pero I don't think this is right. Well, it's not right. I know myself now, pag ganyang may asaran madali ako magjump on it eh. I mean, madaling madala. I don't want that pero I can be very impulsive. Kagaya last night, may inom sana. Gusto ko talaga sumama pero... I have blood donation today tapos ako yung malayo, ako pa mag-eeffort. And ayoko naman na parang isipin niya na tipong nagbibigay ako ng signal.So kahit medyo gusto ko pumunta, no and I didn't. 

Then I told Marianne today about the build-up thingy then sabi niya i-go ko daw. Parang...no parin. Sabi ni Marianne, baka naman daw type daw talaga ako pero ughhhh. I'm needing of more distractions now dahil I keep on thinking more about it now.

Hay. I barely do this on a blog but I just wanted to let this out dahil madali talaga ako mabother generally. Maliit na bagay pa lang to. Idk. Hard not to think about it. 

I. NEED. MORE. DISTRACTIONS. --Duolingo, Piano, what else??

[listening to | Here I Am Again - Yerin Baek ]