With everything that's been said and done, now I'm the one who's to blame. This sucks. I already felt bad enough and yet ako pa rin may kasalanan.
When you're mad, you really do end up with a series of impulsive decisions. And these are what I have done so far:
1. Cutting my hair short - I've been wanting to cut my hair short. I have been planning to cut it when I travel next week but then, this happened. I may regret it because it's 30 quid pricier than my planned haircut. It's much much pricier but I feel so much lighter now.
2. Bought a blue matte bag which suited my style today because it matches my outfit. Shouldn't be buying one but because of the hassle of having no laptop bag when I carry it around; hence, the purchase.
3. Bought a lipstick. I haven't bought one in a long time but again, something to soothe me while I'm really down. Another very impulsive move but not really needing it.
It all started when they intentionally left me behind today. Ang hirap pala pag di masabi sayo na ikaw yung iiwan nila. Ang dami talagang paraan pero yun nga, ang hirap maiwan pala. That is the hatest feeling I ever need to feel ever. Being intentionally left behind.
But anyway after hearing everything and I've said a lot of mean things to Pat. I blamed him for something na hindi naman niya obligasyon. Yun ang pinaka-ayaw niya sa lahat, yung ma-obliga siya.
Anyway, it just proves lalo na he wouldn't want to be with this person (me). I am just making things worse for him. Hindi nga niya kasalanan pero wala akong laban kahit kanino. Which is totoo, pwede ka talaga ma-etsepuwera anytime. You can be cancelled anytime.
Then I realized, all I wanted was just to be appreciated. And it seems like I've been looking for the wrong places on this one.